How To Shower With a Bag On Your Finger [and other useful tips]

1. When you slice your finger open making a delicious Greek salad and dressing from scratch, make sure your doctor husband is nearby to finish the salad while you put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding.
2. While taking 3 Tylenol at once (to treat the pain from your deformed finger) may make the pain go away, said husband gets nervous that you just took nearly half a day’s dosage.
3. Spending three hours painting a dance studio may be fulfilling and help you cross things off your list, it also means your finger will be bleeding for six hours straight.
4. Always have at least one friend who works in the ER – they can encourage you to be stubborn and avoid the hospital. Texting them a picture of the injury is encouraged.
5. If you do not have an immediate relative in health care, find a best friend who is.
6. Be thankful that your feet got torn up dancing the other day because it means you have gauze and athletic tape in your purse.
7. After eating a yummy post-painting meal with friends, be sure to notice that every part of you is covered in paint and you need a shower.
8. Before getting in the shower, remind yourself that contact with running water makes your finger worse.
9. Have your doctor husband secure a sandwich baggie around your bandage.
10. Take a nice, long, hot shower to relax.
11. Get ready for bed.
12. Take a picture of your sad finger to share with all your friends.
13. Go to sleep and start over again. Don’t go near knives for a little while.

Ghetto-tastic injury protection gear.

More than half way done and it looks 100% better!

2010 via Facebook Status Updates

I am always entertained by the randomness of the Year in Review application on Facebook that allows you to see random posts from the past year. I couldn’t believe how well my 20 random posts reflected 2010. For your pleasure and entertainment:

It’s been a four bag kind of day…

It’s one of those days when I’ve just got to sit back and laugh (and then go eat some ice cream). It’s been a total comedy of errors and Hubby has made at least one joke about it raining and pouring (it’s also quite wet outside)! Ha!

The day started with Hubby being able to go into work late, which was fabulous. It was so nice to see him before heading to work since he’s usually up before the sun. He left and I started my day with a shower and breakfast. My bagel was toasted and cream cheese-ed and I went to pour myself a glass of juice when the bottle started to slip out of my hand…I swear to you the thought crossed through my mind, “I think I’ve dropped these bottles before and nothing happens, but it would be a shame if it spilled all over the place,” as the bottle fell, crashed, shattered, and flooded my kitchen floor with fruity goodness. Thank heavens for Swiffer wet mops!

Annoyed, but not cranky, I continued my day and even got out the door on time. I headed to the subway and cracked open Dan Brown’s latest (totally exhilarating read, even if it’s based on fantasy!) while standing on the platform. I even got a good standing spot on the train so I could keep reading for most of the commute. And then it happened: at the second stop, the doors opened on the wrong side. Yup, for the first time in six years, I got on the wrong train. Not even close to being right. Another stop and an extra 20 minutes later I made it to school as my students were lining up outside the classroom door!

In an attempt to convince several schools at once that I am the only candidate for whichever job they have open, I called several principal’s secretaries to reiterate my availability. They were all very helpful – even to the point of letting me know there might be a total hiring freeze in Las Vegas. It might not even matter that I’m in a high need content area. Not sure what’s going to happen there!

On the way home I picked up my newest Epi Pen prescription so if any angry bees tried to attack I could ward off anaphalaxis. Luckily, it didn’t come to that. I got home, gave myself 30 minutes of down time to read and wind down from the day and then finalized my grocery list. I grabbed my recyclable bags and headed for the elevator where I realized I had just locked my keys, ID card, and credit cards in the apartment (the spare key was locked inside too). I tromped through the rain and got a lockout key from Security who kindly watched for me on the security cameras and buzzed me into the building (where another resident was wary of letting me in because she thought I was trespassing!) and I retrieved the locked-in items.

The good news is ice cream was on sale, so I got two flavors :)

…

[Read more at My Life In Four Bags]

Am I Really That Crazy?

Wow, it’s been an intense week:

FRIDAY – Last day of school before break and packing.

SATURDAY – Drive to South Windsor, CT to hang out with family and then a ride to the airport. Flight to Las Vegas via Minneapolis and to bed by 3am eastern time.

SUNDAY – Sleep and hang out with good friends!

MONDAY – See apartments all day as long and drove around the area. Drink biggest Sonic cherry limeade known to exist.

TUESDAY – Sign on an apartment. Resume drop at local high schools. Meet hubby’s future coworkers and lunch on base.

WEDNESDAY – Show up to the airport early and switch to an earlier flight and get seated in the very last row. Get to Hartford and double date with brother- and sister-in-law.

THURSDAY – Stop and IKEA and buy a couch and armchair for the new place. Then back to NYC for court date regarding apartment security deposit never returned.

FRIDAY – Return to Connecticut and meet with the military movers.

SATURDAY – Spend time with family and establish a master packing list.

SUNDAY – Easter morning walk along the river (where we saw some devastation from the flooding), church, family dinner, and back to NYC!

I’m looking forward to a few weeks in one place. Hopefully that will also lead to more time spent on unfinished projects and blogging!

Pat Robertson a.k.a. Mr. Crazy Pants

My cousin Joe wrote this post earlier today and I highly suggest you read it before you continue reading here (it’s short and worth your time – I promise).

Go ahead, for real.

For me, the gist of this Pat Robertson/Haiti situation is this (in Joe’s words):

So, long story very short, Pat Robertson is crazy and we all know it. He’s crazy like Al Sharpton is crazy– everybody knows it, but for some reason nobody will take his microphone away. But, because nobody will take his microphone away, all of Christianity wrongly looks dumb, because of one dumb Christian. This is unfair, but it’s the real world people, deal with it.

I am a Christian and I’m not afraid to say that. What makes me sad is that Pat Robertson has not been a good representation of those of us who follow Christ with regards to his statements regarding the Haitian earthquake. I believe that, above all, Christians should be known by their love, compassion, and desire to serve others. I think of Psalm 86 where God says he wants to be a father to the fatherless and numerous examples in the New Testament where Jesus looks at poor, sick, and outcast people and his reaction is to have compassion on them.

So – to all my friends who have posted angry rants about Pat Robertson: I agree. I think he’s Mr. Crazy Pants. Aas a Christian, I am sad that his words are so influential in forming a picture of what Christians look like. I can honestly say I don’t know any crazy pants Christians like that and I am truly sorry Mr. Robertson has been so insensitive and un-Christian in such a devastating time.

(An aside…I don’t watch Pat Robertson’s show and have not read any of his writing, so I can not vouch for or comment on his character in any instance other than this one.)

—–

[Visit me at My Life In Four Bags]

Printer Troubles

Several friends have been passing this around Facebook today. It was extremely appropriate since I have had an incredibly aggravating week with my own printer. When I first got my MacBook, I didn’t install the drivers for my HP psc 2175. Everything printed and copied fine, but I couldn’t scan. I didn’t really bother me, but I decided last week to finally install the drivers (yes, it’s been 2.5 years and I still hadn’t done it). When this happened, I could no longer print; everytime I attempted to print, the application I was using would shut. Very inconvenient and annoying.

You should really read this, it’ll make you laugh.

Taco Bell’s Drive Through “Diet”

There was once a time when Keith and I would drive back to CT from NJ on a Friday night and stop at the Taco Bell in Milford for a late dinner. It became our little tradition and I can still taste that supreme burrito with hot sauce (the orange packet with all the funny little phrases on it). However, I could not and would not eat there as a part of my regular diet.

That’s why I think people are crazy to think that the new Taco Bell Drive Through Diet is for real. I mean, I’m all for a calorie restricted diet to jump start weight loss, but this is ridiculous! The article referred to above has just the right amount of cynicism and sarcasm – there is no way that a fast food diet is a good idea, because it does not teach its followers how to maintain a healthy standard of living once the weight loss goal has been attained.

And what’s with the salad being the most caloric thing on the menu?